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PEOPLE NEED CULTS
The BeyHive…the Swifties…believers in gods…yoga practitioners…gun nuts…comic book collectors…Trump supporters… Why are these things “things”? It’s simple; because people need cults. I know that doesn’t track immediately, so I had a whole long, well-considered, beautifully articulated think-piece constructed as proof-of-concept I was raised in a cult, and know a thing or two about the…
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Kitchen Confidential By Anthony Bourdain (If He Had Been A Server Instead Of A Filthy Line Cook)
In every full-service restaurant there are two worlds: the Front of House…made up of servers and bartenders, and the Back of House…made up of cooks and dishwashers (with bussers and hostesses existing in the mist between). The difference between these clans? Mainly, if you bathe yourself before coming to work, you are FOH. If you…
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Restaurant Secrets: REVEALED!!! “Serve From The Left, Clear From The Right”
SERVE FROM THE LEFT, CLEAR FROM THE RIGHT If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant of any kind you have undoubtedly heard of the policy, “serve from the left, clear from the right”. The idea is that you place things in front of a guest from their left side and remove things from their right,…
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Every Day Is The First Round Of American Idol Auditions
My classical music education began when I was a third-grader and I signed up to play violin in the prestigious Nelson Dewey Elementary School Orchestra. When I was old enough (specifically, a FOURTH-grader), I joined the drum section of the highly elite Nelson Dewey Elementary School Band. The year after that, I picked up a…
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A Dish And A Bottle #3: Cold Beet Salad and Beaujolais
Cold beet salad Ingredients (serves 4 people): 1/2 a red beet (roasted) Ricotta cheese (1/2 a little container) 1/2 a cup of smoked gouda cheese Juice of 1/2 a lime 1 teaspoon Penzey’s Sunny Paris seasoning 1/4 cup heavy cream Salt/Pepper 1/4 cup water (to loosen before plating) Beet and cheese part: 2 red beets…
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Dear Diary #1: Someone Failed Music History (And Also Probably Regular History)
Someone failed music history (and also probably regular history).
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I Rode My Motorcycle Through Hell (And Also A Few Other States)
Two-thousand eight miles. That was the distance between my past and my future…between where I was and where I belonged…between Nashville and Los Angeles. This is the record of my ride. <cue “Law And Order” GUNG-gung sound> Nashville, Tennessee to Fort Smith, Arkansas fort smith, Arkansas to ______, New mexico. Meh, New mexico to Flagstaff,…
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Nashville Report Card
Nashville report card As I prepare to leave Nashville and return to Los Angeles and my fellow garbage people, I wanted to write down some fair and honest impressions of the city I have lived in this past year, without editorializing. Okay, with SOME editorializing. Okay, yeah…its just a super judgy rant from start to…
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A SOMMELIER TASTES EVERY* HARD SELTZER EVER MADE
A Sommelier tastes every* hard seltzer ever made (*I got close…I swear.) “I’m almost ready for work…I just need a quick drink and we’ll head out.” When I first moved to town I was staying with a sommelier friend of mine, who I discovered kept a twelver of White Claw Hard Seltzer in her…