I am a Son of Wisconsin!  America’s Dairyland!  Home of the Green Bay Packers!  Cheeseheads!  Miller Beer!  Unusually high levels of morbid obesity!

The Wisconsin of my youth was unique; rustic, yet refined…unruly, yet civilized.  I used to call it “Smart Texas” (in that we were into guns and hunting and freedom, but also math and history and science; not secession fantasies and hating Mexicans). 

In the old days, Wisconsinite children were raised to mind their own business.  We were also raised to be kind and deferential to both friends and strangers, even to a fault.  Of course, should those social graces be betrayed, we shut down the betrayer swiftly, completely, and permanently (Wisconsinites being behind only Italians and Scorpios (Italians who believe in astrology) in the Global Master Grudge Holders Rankings).  

That was our social contract and it laid the foundation for all that we have given to the country and to the world as a whole.  After all, Wisconsin was at the forefront of the American labor movement…instrumental in getting you things like the 8-hour work day and 5-day work week.  Our farms used to put the milk on your damn cereal…the cheese on your damn cheeseburger.  And did I mention the beer?  Yeah, we gave you lots of that and provided for our families in doing so (mine included).  But mostly, we just stayed out of your (and each other’s) business and kept ‘er movin’.

But the Wisconsin of my youth is gone.  It has been taken over by an intrusive, mean-spirited, agenda-driven cadre of tyrants who have turned my home state into a test bombing range for any new weapon these fascists want to use against the American people as a whole.  They want to use the machinery of politics to force Wisconsinites (and then, the world) to adopt their social and religious views.  They want to control your private life…they want to control your belief system…they want to control your every behavior, and penalize you for non-compliance.

And they are winning.

*It should be noted here that Wisconsin has ALWAYS been this new, terrible place for the Native Tribes whose ancestral lands were stolen to create this great State.  Perhaps the ancient Chippewa Nations of Wisconsin find it somewhat amusing (or at least ironic) to watch White Wisconsinites do to each other with politics what was done to them with guns and bayonets so long ago (and not so long ago).

“Forward” is the motto of the State of Wisconsin.  “On, Wisconsin!” is the name of our university’s fight song.  Yet, our compass continues to lead us to the past…our GPS set for one step in reverse, ad infinitum.

True, there are some truly smart, very committed people in Wisconsin who are working against these dark forces, and I sincerely wish them the best of luck.  I just don’t see a way to victory for the old Wisconsin and its partisans; just a future of constant struggle to hold on to any little bit of what we once were and could have become.

As for me, I find myself siding with the less clever minds among us, who have always been fond of the axiom, “love it or leave it,” so I did.  I left it.  

You fucking megalomaniacs can have that cold, backward-ass motherfucking shithole.  I wouldn’t live there again even if living itself were dependent upon it.  Brothers and sisters…YOU SHOULDN’T EITHER.

“Fuck, Wisconsin!”  

It’s a better lyric anyway.