Cold beet salad
Ingredients (serves 4 people):
1/2 a red beet (roasted)
Ricotta cheese (1/2 a little container)
1/2 a cup of smoked gouda cheese
Juice of 1/2 a lime
1 teaspoon Penzey’s Sunny Paris seasoning
1/4 cup heavy cream
Salt/Pepper
1/4 cup water (to loosen before plating)
Beet and cheese part:
2 red beets (roasted and sliced in whatever shape you dig)
1/4 cup of cubed smoked gouda cheese
1/4 cup cubed Romano cheese
SLAW:
1/2 cup of raw white cabbage
1 tablespoon of fresh chopped fennel
Several slivers of red onion (quick-pickled)
1 tablespoon of shaved carrot
1 tablespoon of kernel corn
A few leaves of fresh basil (minced)
A bit of fresh parsley (minced)
A few leaved of fresh mint (minced)
The juice of 1/2 a lime
A very light drizzle of olive oil
LETS DO THIS SHIT!!!
First, roast your beets. Wash them in the sink, cut them in half, give them a drizzle of olive oil and a bit of salt and pepper, then wrap them up tightly in some foil and roast them for 40 minutes at 375-400 degrees. When they are done, the skins will be super easy to peel off. Then let those hot little bastards cool in the refrigerator.
Also, take a minute and put the plates you are going to serve this on into the refrigerator to chill for later. Temperature is important to the quality of this dish.
Note: You can use the roasting and cooling of the beets as time to do the chopping and shit for the rest of the dish. Or you can make yourself a mojito, since the minimum amount of mint you are apparently allowed to purchase by law is FOUR TONS OF MINT. Honestly…who the fuck is going to use that much mint in their home?!?!
Make the sauce by putting half a cooled beet into your food processor with the ricotta, lime juice, gouda, Sunny Paris, cream, and seasoning. Pulse first, then blend until smooth. If the mixture is a little too thick, loosen it up with some water. Place the mixture in the refrigerator to cool.
Don’t have a food processor? Stop cooking right now and take a moment to get your fucking life together. Then go to Target and get a little $15 one. You’ll be amazed at how much you use it.
I’ll wait.
Oh, good…you’re back. Lets continue.
The salad portion of this dish is basically a slaw meant to garnish the plate, but it also brings some sweetness, some acidity, and some herbaceous-ness to the dish, complimenting the earthiness of the beets. Assemble this part of the dish in a mixing bowl exactly the way you would any slaw or salad, and chill it in the refrigerator.
Slice the remaining beets and cheese in a shape that pleases you, and get ready to plate.
Pool the sauce onto your chilled serving plates. Place the sliced beets and cubed cheese into the puddle in whatever configuration gets you hard. Place a small mound of your slaw onto the plate in a place that you think looks pretty, and you’re done.
CAVEATS, DISCLAIMERS AND RANDOM THOUGHTS:
1) Normally, I use yellow beets for all of my cooking because they taste pretty much the same red beets but are 1/100th the hassle (prepare to have red all over you, your kitchen, your children, your dreams…it gets everywhere). This dish really needs the red to make it pop, so suck it up and use the reds. Just take the extra care in every step of the process to minimize your mess, and wash your hands CONSTANTLY.
2) Substitute the SHIT out of this recipe. Mascarpone for ricotta, fresh mozzarella for gouda, cilantro for basil…whatever YOU dig, do that. Thats what makes this fun!
3) The dish looks even fancier when you reduce the portion size, but fuck that. I love every single thing in this salad, so why would I want to give myself less of those things? Dumb.
RESULTS!!!!
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